what do i expect?

mmg sejak akhir2 ni aku rase betol 'ketiadaan' dia. dan aku jugak admit, aku terlalu byk mengadu. kadang2 aku terfikir, maybe die rimas kot? menda menda kecik pon mmg aku akan mengadu. jgn tanya aku kenapa sbb jawapan dia ade dekat kedai ssebelah jiran acik kau. maybe aku nak dia dgr and maybe mind set aku he's the one yg boleh calm aku. aku taknak org lain. but, WHAT DO I EXPECT? dia tekedek kedek datang hug aku and cakap.. "dahh laaa..jgn nangesshh.." or on the spot datang " apesal ni..? siapa buat u?" or maybe the message will be like this.. "tak payah nak serabut2.. tak dpt ape pun.. chill sudah.." BUKAN MENDA MENDA NI YANG AKU NAK SEBENANYA. no one knows how does it feel.

betul lah apa yang aku cakap tadi. aku terlalu banyak mengadu. dan aku selalu harapkan dia ajelah yg boleh calm aku but the truth is, he's not sometimes. because i do expect more than everything. i expect more more more and more. for what? idk.. this is me. and this is not you. sometimes im thinking, i'll should end this up.. i SHOULD..but i DONT WANT.. because iloveyou.. i am strong because of you.. and i scared one day i'll let it be..and RELEASE it all...

lesson : tak semua benda yang kita expect kita akan dapat.. :)