I've reached the stage

hello everyone. its 2.21 a.m now and as usual, insomnia is coming back when im get back home to shah alam. sigh. half of the work is done. feeuuhhhh.

so, as you guys know, its been a long time i didn't update the 'heart talk' of mine isn't it. am i? hihihihi. and today i will share to all of you the strange feeling that i had a few days past. before that, i wanna ask do you really trust when people said 'kalau orang yang kita sayang happy, kita pon akan happy and sanggup buat apa je utk buat dia happy'. eeeuuuwwww geli. sentimental girl wannabe lah tonight! lol. okay peeps, this is not a joke. i mean 'why are you guys laughing?' hahahha. come on, ni baru mukadimah tau. okay so what do you think? logically, benda ni atau rasa ni mmg diterima akal la kan. tapi orang zaman sekarang pandai ckp je. rasanya idok! haha. orang lain cakap mcm tu, hah dia pon nak ckp mcm tu. hadoi. well kalau nak diikotkan ayat kat atas memang tersangatlah geli okay. but its true. trust me. let me tell you this people. the time will come when we, ourselves reach this kind of feeling that we couldn't understand and couldn't describe, its like 'what happen to me? am i truly happy after knowing this? i should be sad' . as i said before, masa nya akan tiba jugak. someday. another 2 years? 2 weeks? tomorrow? haha.. who knows. aku rasa setiap orang mesti akan menempuh tahap ni bila dia belajar tentang kehidupan atau sesuatu benda dimana rasa itu akan timbul dengan sendirinya. kadang2 benda tu dah tertunjuk, cuma kita aja yang memandang tetapi tidak betol betol melihat. ada juga yang melihat, tetapi tidak pernah cuba untuk memikir. ada yang memikir tetapi tidak reti buat keputusan. ada yang sudah buat keputusan, tetapi masih menipu diri sendiri. am i right? correct me if im wrong. after all, this is life.

me myself, im totally tak pernah percaya dgn phrase tu dulu. (kalau orang yang kita sayang happy, kita pon akan happy tak kira dlm situation apa sekalipun). rasa mcm ape nii, takkan kita tgk org yg kita syg in relationship dgn org lain kita happy pulak? bullshit kan? okay lets begin the story. laaa baru nak mula ke? hahahhaha.. so thats it la, tade mende pon nak citer sebenanye. just nak share and bagitahu, aku dah pon tempuh stage ni. boleehhhh? sampaikan aku rasa pelik kenapa rasa yg sepatutnya aku sedih tapi aku rasa biasa. aku rasa klu kena kat pompuan lain mahu menongeng2 menanges. haha. ke hati aku dah tak ada pada dia? so kepelikan aku ni aku tanye la kwn baik aku, kenapa aku rasa mcm ni? i should be double frustrated after knowing this. so the feedback that i get superbly surprise me. cewah! padahal aku tahu je napa, just nak pandangan dr org lain yg mmg tahu psl  love telenovela aku ni. she said that i am ready and fully let go of him peacefully for the rest of my heart. willing to let go for him to find his own happiness and most important, terima hakikat dan redha. its not extremely happy tau, sedih pon tak. entah, i couldn't describe this feeling. and satu benda yg aku sedar, ini 1st time aku rasa yang aku tumpang gembira bila tgk orang yg aku sayang gembira dan aku start percaya  phrase yg aku rasa nonsense dulu tu. ni 1st time. maybe dia 1st real love aku kot. entah. bukan apa, kita tak percaya or tk nampak benda sbb kita belum tempuh tahap tu. thats why i said, sooner or laturrr. the time will come. i bet you this. aku dah rasa and i was like wow! i've grown up! experience taught me a lot. jangan pernah letih dengan pengalaman. baik pahit ataupun manis. semuanya membuat kita belajar, berfikir dan belajar balik. haha. dan akhir sekali, kita lebih kenal siapa diri kita, apa yang mampu kita lakukan yg tak pernah kita tonjolkan selama ni. okay tetiba ngantok. bye.

p/s: a lil disappointed when you delete me from fb. but i know you dont want to hurt me. and you know i know you well. so, i understand. chill braahh.